The broken hearts of ADHD

My whole family has been struggling emotionally for years with the impact ADHD has had on our lives. First with my son's diagnosis in grade 5,  then my own diagnosis a year ago. For years I thought  the issue was anxiety. Anxiety meds never worked. A week in Vyvanse; I was a new woman and had my life back.

What breaks my heart is that my son is stuck in the storm of pain,  thoughts and emotions that only those with ADHD can fully understand. Every time I see an article that says adhd is not real absolutely drives me nuts. I would NEVER choose this for my son, EVER! To have ADHD be a myth would be the most incredible news ever. Nothing would be happier to be able to looks at my son and say... " good news...  " You do not have ADHD" ,, your just a brat - that would be so much easier.

But then what, how do I explain his struggles away. As parents we had to watch the daily breaking of a little boys heart, because as a boy he could never measure up to his teachers, society and expected development stages standards. How I and my husband have unintentionally and at time intentionally.. Broken his heart,,  cause we are desperately trying to teach him how he can have a wonderful life or what the real world is like and in the process we fail, yet again. That we desperately try to see past the "noise" of ADHD to the amazing heart that beats in the young man I call my son. Through all of this chaos, we all die a little inside and close off our hearts. Cause ADHD hurts. A lot.

At the end of our rope, we just don't know what to to do and where to turn for help. We  are desperate for help when things get to rough, we just can't do it,we don't know how to continue and we can't find the right help when we need. So the family shatters, like a perfect, clear frozen glass tossed on concrete. How do you begin to put all those tiny pieces back together?

I'll tell you how I think it will be put back together. One tiny, sharp fragment at a time. All of us will be cut and bleed in the process. It will be worth every scar finally have my son fight for himself in a healthy way and truly believe he is worth fighting for. That in a year my adult son will be that shattered glass, put together and it will be a kaleidoscope of radiance - cause he has never been a boring clear glass.